what is this feeling i'm having inside.
if someone doesn't tell me i will surely die.
i can't help being tired, can barely open my eyes.
my belly feels like i'm on a rollercoaster ride.

i aint seen aunt dot, she aint been here in a while.
maybe i should go see the doctor, let him look in my file.
i looked in the mirror, my belly is starting to swell.
my breast really hurt, and i feel like hell.

everyday now i feel something moving inside.
i'm getting fat will my clothes be able to hide.
i'm feeling better now, everything seems o.k.
i hope this movement inside me will stop oneday.

i'm starting to cramp, there is pain in my back.
i need to go to the hospital and that is a fact.
i get up to walk, and water starts to run.
whatever is happening it sure isn't fun.

theese feelings are something i've never felt before.
this pain is too bad , i can't take it no more.
i'm pushing and pushing, i'm getting tired you see.
have i been here long or is it just me.

it's time for the show can't turn back now.
the doctor says "the heads starting to crown"
i look at him and say, what does that mean.
i can't help not knowing, i'm only thirteen.

so with all my might i bare down hard.
this pain is tearing my body apart.
he arrives in the world, my adventure is done.
that strange feeling inside was my new baby son.

my emotions right now are running wild.
i'm a baby myself, what will i do with a child.

motherless child

i am feeling better now. i know that people can be stupid. i got some sleep today so that was a plus. my husband came home acting like an ass he must have his period. i have to work tonight so i need to get some rest. my son has to get onliine to do somr research for a science project. so i will help him with that. well it's been real. check out this poem tell me if you like it.

peace, motherless child

ok for those who have seen my pictures. if you do not like them that is fine but please do not insult my family. my children are my world and it hurts when people say stupid shit. as a matter of fact i posted my kids pictures for two wonderful intelligent people to see. and they no who they are. if you happen to see my gallery i hope you like the pictures . if not move on. what i would like to know is who would say something bad about children. and for the record i do not smoke any more i stopped alittle while ago, i only think about smoking when i am really stressed. i just did not have any pics of myself other than that one, and to whom ever wrote those nasty comments about my kids may god bless you with beutiful kids like mine. well i'm really pissed so i will blog later.

peace, motherless child

ok this time of year is always hard for us.trying to figure out bills and getting the kids christmas together. my kids are doing so well in school. and i want them to have a great christmas. but i have no idea how we will afford it. i am trying not to get depressed but money is kind of tight theese days. my husband pays alot of child support for his three girls that are not mine. and that is what he is supposed to do. it's just that this time of the year you can really tell that we are just getting by. i thank the lord for every thing he does for us and i know he will make a way for us like he always does. i just am the type that worries.and i just pray we can give them a good christmas and still pay the bills. i will leave it in gods hands and trust him to see me through. i need to stop complaining because there are people way worse off than i am and i ask the lord to bless them as well. i do not know why i get like this every year.my hubby will start to work more overtime because he worries too. but we will be fine. we always are. the lord has always made a way for us so i know he will this time. i need to stop stressing so much. i can't seem to help it. i just don't want my kids to wake up like i used to on christmas. and have nothing. i know that won't happen. i just do not want them to expierence any of my childhood memories. well let me stop before i go off the deep end. i just want to thank god for all he has done for me. for waking me up every morning and for giving me babies to worry about and a husband responsible enough to pay child support. all the things i have and do not have i thank the lord for because if i am suppose to have it he will provide it.

motherless child

i wish you could feel the pain i bare.
tears come from my eyes,and don't even care.
i can't explain the way i'm feeling inside.
cause my heart is heavy and i don't know why.

i thank the lord for his blessing of so many things.
for all the people in my life and all the joy they bring.
my life i can say is more blessed then some.
but theese feelings i have always make my heart numb.

lord i ask you to guide me and to clear my mind.
i know things will get better with the passing of time.

but sometimes i feel like i can't take it no more.
feels like i have no clue what i'm living for.
the things i go through just don't seem fair.
but lord i know you won't give me more than i can bare.